our visit to the garden

Yesterday was one of those days that I just could not be bothered doing anything.  I was bored. That’s right, I said it! I had cabin fever.  It’s been raining for about a week or so but who really knows.  I think IMAD was bored, too. She was a bit clingy and wingy. Anyway, all I know was that it felt like I’d been doing ‘mum’ things for ages and I needed to shake things up.

So, I asked her if she wanted to go on the train! Yup! Of course she says, “ ‘rain, ‘rain”!

So we bundled up with jackets and headed out.

She loved the train ride into the city. She loved watching the rain on the window and waving at all the people. She had a little snack on some dates. Thankfully we got on an express so it only took 40 minutes to get into the main train station.  I thought we’d probably go to the museum or library because it was raining, but when we got into the city the rain had stopped. It was still cold and damp in the air but we needed to be outside.

We headed toward the bank of the Torrens River.  I used to love going down there on my lunch break when I worked in the city.  It was fun taking my daughter there. She had no idea why it was special to me, but she loved seeing the Moorhens and Black swans. I couldn’t work out if the swans were just checking us out, or if they were angry we didn’t bring bread or some lentil sprouts!

We walked along the river, passed the fountain that blew river water all over us, and even stumbled on a ‘love-lock’ bridge. I’d never known it was there before but people must have been locking their love there for many years.

We made our way down to the botanical gardens and ended up in a café for coffee and baby cino and to eat our sandwiches! There was sooo many birds in the café! I thought it was a bit off putting but IMAD loved watching them. I mean, I can cope with the odd spoggy flying in for a crumb… but this was different. There were ducks, moorhens, pigeons, top-knot pigeons, pee-wees.  It was pretty full on. We kept shoeing them away with the umbrella, which IMAD thought was hilarious!

Then we went for a bit more of a walk around. We talked about the flowers and trees and it was so relaxing getting out in the fresh air, somewhere out of the ordinary for us. 

She’s been there before, but I don’t think she remembered. I think she might remember this though… Then I snapped out of my rambling, because it was raining pretty heavily!  I tried to put the rain cover on the pram, but it was pretty close to IMAD’s face and I think she felt claustrophobic and a bit frightened. So she ended up holding my brolly and I …

…well I had to make do with my scarf over my head and the drowned rat look!

We ran out of the park and across the road to the veranda of a pub. I ended up buying IMAD her own umbrella so I could have mine back. We have a few grown up size brollies, and now she has a kid’s size one…. Which she’s barely put down since.

She wanted to leave it up on the train, so too bad if anyone was superstitious about that!

When we got back to the car, she screamed bloody murder all the way home because she wanted her “brellaaaahh, brellaaa, breeelllllaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh”

It goes to show how much fun you can have on short notice with very little planning.  

*And I just want to add that I walked 6kms!

Specifically about Dads

Dads. When did being a good dad become acting like a mum? Think about that for a minute. 

There was a movie recently that referred to the Father as a “Farmy”! Really? Father crossed with taking care of his kids is called a Farmy? Father who acts like a Mommy? How did this happen? A dad should not have to feel weird about acting like a dad.

Mr Mum.  Where did this come from? A dad who takes care of his child, is a dad, not a male mother. Yeah, yeah, we hear it all the time. 'A mum has breast milk and gave birth, so she should be the primary care-giver and stay with the child and take care of them untill they are school age, and then she might think about going ‘back to work, part-time’'.  Such a common misconception. But, last time I checked, breastfeeding is generally accepted in Western cultures until the child is 1 years old, and then maybe a night time ‘feed’ until they are 18months or so.  That time frame may differ between household, but it is rare you see a 4-5 year old breastfeeding anymore. So why is it up to Mother to be the main care-giver? Anyway, I digress. 

There is no reason a dad should be made to feel embarrassed or awkward caring for his child.  No one would point out a mother pushing a pram and say, ‘Oh how nice of you to get the baby out of the house for a while – lovely to see a mum with her baby, giving Dad a break. Aww blessss…’

When you do see a Dad with his kids, how easy is it to assume he is following orders from a strung out mum who is at her wits end with kids and their behavior whilst being swamped with chores and needs him to ‘GET THEM OUT!’

There is no reason a Dad can’t think to himself that, god forbid, he might actually want to spend time with his kids! And yet, at the park, he feels the watchful eye of the ‘mummy pack’ as he takes a picture of his kids playing nicely together (for a change!).  They are making memories together.  He is about to message this photo to his wife, but he’s asked what the hell he thinks he’s doing using photography in a public place (who knows what he’ll do with it, right?!). Meanwhile, the next mum is uploading 17 photos to Facebook!

When a dad is made to feel like this, it’s taking away from his role, responsibility, and love for his child/children. We are being told everywhere that ‘kids need a Father Figure’ in their lives.  The harsh reality is that many children grow up without a father.  This is why society is always saying they ‘need male primary school teachers’.  This is why there are big brother/little brother programs. This is one reason people send their kids to Scouts, or join them up to sporting clubs etc. When kids grow up unbalance adults, society is quick to blame it on them not have a reliable ‘Father Figure’ to depend on or lead them by example.

You can’t have it both ways. 

If a kid is lucky enough to have a dad around, let’s encourage that family when we see them out. Let’s call him ‘Dad’, because that’s what he is.  Let’s not call him ‘Mr Mum’ for changing that nappy, or ‘Farmy’ because he took his kid to play group. Let dads be dads.