Right now I am sitting at home waiting for the real estate
lady to come and do my house inspection. All you other ‘renters’ will have just
died a little inside! You can relate to this. Ohh the judgement! It’s worse
than having your mother visit… (Jks)
I’m not sure about other countries, but in Australia,
renters get around 4 house inspections per year, and they have the option to be
at home for this, but they don’t have to be. I prefer to be at home. It’s
easier and you know they haven’t snooped through your stuff.
People who know me, know that I keep a fairly clean home.
Everything has a place and a place for everything – quote mother. But I also
have an 11 month old baby. Yep, I can
barely keep up with the washing, let alone folding, before she tips the basket
over and I start again. I’ve barely mopped the floors and she’s in her high
chair throwing banana at the ceiling. She’s a good kid, and a very happy little
girl, but it can be annoying!
Anyway, back to the inspection.
So right before the inspector comes in the door, they are
holding all the power. Don’t you want a little of that? Well, I’m here to show
you how…
You pay for the space that you rent, don’t you? So, to an
extent, you can decide what you do in that space. Therefore, I refuse to bow to
anyone who is here to judge my use of this space.
Bear in mind that the agent has probably set aside somewhere
between 10-30 minute (usually) for an inspection and have other houses to get
to.
Key tips:
1: Distraction! This is the absolute key to winning an
inspection. I don’t care what you use to
distract them with, but you must. This is essential. You can do something such
as, have a craft out on the table – what are you making? (Don’t say nothing, I
got this rubbish out of the draw to distract you, sucker!) Always have some story about
some project you have been meaning to get around to doing. They should feel
like they are getting in your way. Or,
have a few books and a computer out on the table – you are studying, or you are
researching, or you are thinking about taking a trip. These are leading topics
of distraction so be prepared to answer questions. They ALWAYS want to know
what you are studying! And have they been to Europe? Oh, they have? Where do you recommend I go? Oh, you prefer
Asia, tell me about that! People love talking about their trips! Bam! 10 mins
gone! You are not sitting around doing nothing waiting for them, you are
‘getting on with your day as usual’ because they don’t own you! You have power
and control over your own time!
2: Have the sweet spots, spotless. Yes, clean your bathroom,
laundry, kitchen, and make your bed (yes, mum).
These are a must. This shows that you have taken time to adhere to
cleanliness. You haven’t done this for them, you’ve done this for yourself. You
like to live in a clean, germ free home.
3: Greet them at the door as if they are a guest in your
home. Make them feel from the moment you open that door like they are there for
a coffee and chat (Don’t actually make them coffee though!). Dress neat casual
to let them know you are the sort of person who is organised, motivated, and is
probably going out later in the day, or has just arrived home. The first thing
they are likely to ask is, is there anything that needs fixing or attention
from their side. ALWAYS SAY YES! The tap
is dripping a little, the cupboard door hinge needs looking at, I’m not sure
what is going on with the back fence. This is the biggest distraction and best
chance you will get of them not looking closely at your vents. This also gives
you some power – asking them to do something for you. They will write this down
and make a note to check it, meanwhile they’ve already been into the kitchen
and ignored the oven that didn’t quite make the chore list.
4: Have a little bit of clutter. I’m not taking dirty washing
all over the bedroom floor and a trashed lounge room. I’m talking washing on a
drying rack, (and a conversation about how the weather has been terrible so you
can’t hang it on the line and doesn’t it take so much longer to dry inside!)
I’m talking, a few bits and pieces on the end of the kitchen bench, a few toys
left in the middle of the room, some mail on the coffee table – you get the
point. This is your house. Yes, it’s
clean, but it’s clean in the way that you, as a tenant and someone who pays for
the space, want it. The ball is in your
own court!
As for the weeds – tell them they’ve been sprayed but
haven’t quite died yet! This only works every second or third time. Don’t be
telling that same lie every time they come!
I think the biggest thing is to keep it chatty, keep it
friendly, and walk around the place with them, distracting them at every turn.
They are not used to the chatty, friendly, tenant.
It also helps to put the baby to bed around the time they
are expected to show up so they have to be quiet and can’t be powering all over
the house, being all judgy! Alternately, if they baby is awake, they can serve
as a massive distraction! No one can be in a bad mood around a happy baby, and
no one wants to stick around for a crying, fussy baby. If you don’t have a
baby, rent one? Joking! Don’t ever rent a baby!
Good luck with your next inspection and I hope some of these
tips will help!
